There is no free will. Share your fucking story!
Women in cyber threat intelligence like myself are covertly coerced into submission and breeding, and are emotionally, physically and sexually abused by highly abusive people
I don't know what else to do to protect myself from the systemic abuse and coercion that I've been forced to endure by abusive coworkers and so called fearless leaders in cyber threat intelligence and research and incapacitated family who are members of Christian cults. I feel mentally and physically ill, defeated, and am filled with a burning desire to counter-abuse these abusers. Counter-abuse is NOT the same as abuse, and is vital for building equitability!
There are so many things I will talk about. I want to start with something that has been threatening my entire existence. I received this card from a Christian woman friend after I got pregnant with Elliot (10 years old, he/him). I didn’t pay a lot of attention to the card originally. After 9 years of working in human trafficking like working conditions in cyber threat intelligence and research, and a series of life threatening events, like car and bike crashes, physical sickness that was unbearable, and mental sickness, I remembered the card! I looked for it frantically, and there it was. It was one of the many pieces of evidence that I started uncovering. Evidence that people in my life have covertly targeted me and premeditated how they would degrade my lived experience, sabotage me, coerce me, and prevent me from thriving. The card was written by a Christian friend, who is a highly coercible person. Someone bold, abusive, and intelligent, who stalked my friend, had set an agenda to sabotage my life, and informed me about it in advance that they will make sure I will NOT be successful by coercing my friend into making a typo in the card! The number one abuser suspects are:
1. Family members who are part of a Christian cult and who may have murdered my mother because she escaped the cult and refused to behave like a criminal.
2. Abusive former co-workers with way more resources than myself who continue to stalk me, coerce me, and degrade my physical health to a level where I can barely function.
I feel like my life is in danger!
Side details: When I learned I was pregnant, I scheduled two abortions in Washington D.C, but I lacked the right support group to confidently go through with the abortion, and I allowed other people to influence my decision to keep the baby. When I made the call to keep the baby, I was experiencing the superhero complex, and was misled to believe that my degree in Computer Science, my drive, and the choice of career in one of the most “thriving“ industries was enough to be able to raise my son without support, in the way I imagined I would like to raise him: to confidently break all rules and parenting stereotypes, and have a blast raising another human to be an independent, autonomous member of the community, someone who is always prepared to help, an ally of vulnerable people, a highly kind, inclusive, and adaptable person, and a highly dangerous weapon of counter-abuse. After 9 years of career sabotage, coercion, sexual abuse, and not even the bare minimum of help and care, I look back on my decision, and wish I went through with the abortion. I had no clue that highly abusive people, more intelligent than myself, with more privilege and more resources than me, like coworkers and so called fearless leaders in cyber threat intelligence and research were going to consistently target me, groom me, sabotage my career, and my experience of raising Elliot independently, and get away with it. I had no idea that there will be no help, no care, no support, and that coworkers would deflect or deny the abuse, not inform me that I was being targeted and stalked, not protect me, and not intervene. The only way I would do it all over again is in hiding, and with enough resources to counter-abuse people who are targeting me.